A much overdue update

I haven't really updated about myself recently so today on my day off I decided to write a hopefully quick update.

Work: I took a managers position that opened up at work. I am no fan of being the boss I have decided!! I do not like having to speak to adults who should know what there job is and should be doing it, I mean come on people. But I am a pretty good paper pusher and I think I have gotten a handle on doing inventory counts. I only have three left next week which I will be able to finish. I am anal about figuring out material when things aren't adding up and I think upper management likes this. I do not have a handle on ordering inventory but am getting better at it. I have been able to say a bunch lately, I have the items needed on order. But I still need to work on that. And probably need to work on getting to work earlier than right on time. I get stuck in traffic so often its so frustrating.

Child: We survived the first year of middle school and have now started the second year. So far so good. For the most part he is a good kid but as with all children he still has phases that drive me crazy. He just turned 12 and with that he went through this lovely "I want phase" he still has money to spend and when he gets a hair up his butt he gets really pushy to go spend his money. With other people he is still very good and on his best behavior which is so good. I am happy that we haven't reached full on puberty yet. Fingers crossed I have a few more updates before that happens.

Love life: Is amazing!! I met a man and it's been really good for the past 6 months. He has met the monster and things there couldn't be any better. He introduced us to drag racing, we now go to the track a couple times a month to watch races. Its great family time. The monster asks about him all time, I didn't realize how much the monster needed a man in his life on a more steady basis than the weekends when we are around family. The new guy has met my family and I have met his. We spend most of our free time together and have lots of family time. It's really nice and I am so happy. I have avoided updating on this bc I don't want to jinx it but I think we are out of the jinx zone.

So there is my update. I am one happy camper right now.

Tagged

I was tagged last month and did start this but am horrible about posting so I am finishing it tonight.

1. If money were no object, what would you buy right no

Brand new furniture to go in my brand new house.

2. Who is your favorite TV character and why?

Charlotte from Private Practice, she has a banging career, a great husband, is strong woman who speaks her mind and isn't afraid to offend others with her opinions.

3. What shameful habit do you have?

I become obsessed with something and have to finish weather that be a book or a tv series so I will spend all of my time doing that and nothing else.

4. What toy do you wish you could play with right now but refrain from because you're an adult?
Not a toy but Dream Date, the old board game from middle school.

5. What strange thing is in your purse right now?

A can of mase, its strange bc it's pink, bc I HATE pink.

6. What talent do you wish you had?
the talent to lose weight at will.

7. What website do you visit on a regular basis? (pinterest and facebook don't count)
People.com

8. What state would you live in if you could live in any state in the US?
One of the Carolina's. I just like the way that sounds, I live in North or South Caroline. I would still be on the east coast but the weather would be warmer longer. Oh and closer to FL so I could visit Disney or Harry Potter World.

9. What is your favorite local restaurant? (no chains allowed)

The Alamo in Hyattsville

10. Fruity or chocolaty?
Chocolatey.

11. What weird things bother you that wouldn't bother other people?
I HATE smacking lips or sucking teeth or eating with your mouth open. Most of my coworkers seem to fall into this realm of annoyingness. I have to use my earbuds to ignore them bc they are so loud. Come on now people were you raised by wolves?

So according to these rules:

**You must post the rules {?!}
**Answer the 11 questions that the tagger posted for you & then create 11 questions to ask the people you’ve tagged
**Tag 11 people and link them in your post
**Let them know you have tagged them

I now must tag 11 people but I do not know who would be willing to do this. If you are willing to do this consider yourself tagged, here are my questions:

1. Why do you like do you like to answer questions?

2.What is your favorite TV show and why?

3. if you could live someone's TV life, who's?

4. If you could play or play an instrument what would/is it?

5.What color best describes you?

6. What is your dream job?

7. Can you recommend a great book to read?

8.If you could live anywhere where would it be and why?

9.Muppets or fraggles?

10.What smartphone would you recommend and why?

11.What is your favorite 80's movie?

Planned Parenthood

Most of the time my posts are stories about my lovely love life or my frustrations with my ex. Today I am taking a different tone here and I hope if you are reading you bear with me. I tend to try to keep my politics to myself bc I am a liberal surrounded by conservatives. Mind you I love all of these conservatives dearly I just utterly disagree with them. I don't want to cause strain so I simply avoid topics that I know are going to cause disagreements. But lately I have heard a lot about planned parenthood and its all driving me nuts.

Planned Parenthood is not simply an abortion provider, yes that is a legal service they provide, but they also provide MANY more services to help women with low incomes get the healthcare they so desperately need. I find it appalling that bc they provide abortions people are willing to write off the good they do. When Susan G Komen decided to pull their grant money from Planned Parenthood, I was pissed bc clearly they were bowing to the conservative view point and didn't pay attention to the laws and what the money from their grants actually went to which is breast cancer screening. That just so happens to be what SGK is all about, right?

SGK did reverse their position and give the grants back to planned parenthood after a public outcry but it doesn't appear that it was a permanent reversal but just for this year. I wonder what will happen next year will they continue to give grants to PP or drop the line item from their budget?

How should I respond to this?

Started on 2/10 but never posted

My ex wanted to talk to me tonight, I figured it was about the monster's summer trip. The monster has been saying he doesn't want to go and I figured he wanted to know if I had made any headway with the monster. Boy was I wrong, instead he had a favor to ask of me. He told me that he did his taxes and would be getting back a substantial amount of money since he claimed his girlfriends kid. He asked me if I would give him back some of it since he is only getting it bc he is claiming another child. The amount he asked for back is less than half of what I might be getting back, I will give him that much he didn't ask for it all back.

If you know me you know that I thought about this and am still thinking about it. But I did tell him No and really hope to be able to hold my ground with that answer. I am so taken back that he would ask me this but really why should I be, I am the one he called when he was upset about his mistress and the one he asked for rent money from, the one who helped him out when he was evicted, the one he called and complained about the second wife-now soon to be 2nd ex wife. I am way to nice to this man sometimes so he will of course ask me for help all the time.

I explained to him that if I were to give him back any part of the money I am doubly screwed bc not only will I be out the money but he will be off the hook with the state of MD and I will have no recourse bc he will have been given the credit for it. He doesn't get it. He said he would pay me back which I have heard so many times before I have lost count. I reminded him of the train ticket I bought for him and the plane tickets I bought, both of which were recent things I have paid for that he hasn't paid me back yet. I reminded him that I set up a special back account that he requested that he was supposed to put money in. I am sure he has lost the bank account.

He actually started attacking me and said since he pays his child support why doesn't the monster have stuff when he goes to visit his father? Like what I ask. I sent 10 pairs of socks, 10 pairs of underwear, 10-12 shirts, and all his shorts. What else was I supposed to send? The ex says the monsters shoes were falling apart. Really the ex bought the kid a $30 pair of shoes and he is complaining. When the ex was in town he asked if the three of us could go shopping for shoes for the monster and the two of them picked out $75 shoes that I paid for. Those were paid for when the ex wasn't working so he cannot say his child support went to any of that. I explained that child support also goes towards living expense, food and shelter. That the child wants to play sports this season which is all going to cost me and yet somehow the ex feels he has the right to get on my case.

The worse part of this whole situation is that the child was in the living room with me and heard my end of the conversation. I have tried so hard to keep this stuff from the child. I don't want him to think his dad doesn't want to help. I know that it's his father's mindset and that he and I see things differently, however the child doesn't understand that yet. I had to show the kid the child support website so he would see all of the payments the ex has made recently. I asked if he had any questions and he said no. However I could tell his mind was working and he was upset.

4/14 addition:

Since this phone call the monster has definitely displayed more hostility about his father. It has not been fun. I know the monster is old enough to make up his own mind about his dad I just didn't think he would be so vocal about it. I am not sure why I am so surprised I am pretty vocal in my opinions so it shouldn't be a surprise that my child is too. I was just hoping that he wouldn't be so angry with his father but from what I have heard from others and read about its not uncommon for children to be angry. I just hate to see the monster hurting.

What's done is done. Or is it...

I tend to have the mindset that once whatever is done, its done. Things don't always end the first time you think they have nor do they always end well but once things are done, they are done.

Should they be allowed to resurface?

I was thinking about my new years resolutions lately and was thinking that there was something that I needed to add to it. I really need to go back to my only looking forward mindset. Because I tend to repeat patterns and I need to stop that bc after all isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and expecting a different result. I do this in most aspects of my life; in relationships, with my child, in my professional life, with my ex husband. I need to look forward and move forward rather than looking backwards.

New Years Resolutions

I am actually thinking about resolutions this year. Normally I just ignore them bc I doubt I will stick to them but this year is different. I am 29 and am HATING it. I don't feel like I am where I should be for a 29 year old and in my head I have a number of things I told myself I would have taken care of by the time I turn 30 and as I am 9 months away from that end date I should probably start working towards them. That being said I need to write down my resolutions for this year that will get me to my 30 year old goals.

1. I need to get healthier, I need to start working out and eating better. My lovely brother bought me Zumba for Christmas so I can start working out at home. I have fixed the payment for my gym membership so maybe I will be able to work out a schedule to go there too.

2. I need to get my finances in order. My 30 year old goals include getting a 401K set up.

3. I need to clean out my house, I have too much crap.

4. I need to get the child onto a chore schedule. He did really well this week with me leaving him a morning note with a chore a day so maybe I will have to continue that on a calendar so that he gets into a habit of helping around the house.

5. I need to pay more attention to the child's school work and work with him to help him want to do well and get organized.

Now me being honest with myself, I have never been good at sticking to resolutions/goals but I really want to work on these which is why I writing them down and posting them on the internet, hopefully this will help keep me on track to reach my goals, 9 months to go...

All I want to do is cry

And I realize this is such an irrational response, but this is how I feel.

My child decided he wants to go visit his dad on the west coast for Thanksgiving week. I said ok not really thinking his dad would be able to come up with the money to buy the ticket. I was wrong he found the money or said he had. It took him forever to send me the flight information and then only the flight leaving home not the one coming back. So I clung to the hope that he didn't buy the return flight and if that was the case I wasn't sending him there since I wasn't going to buy the return flight.

Well tonight he finally sent me the return flight information and its a day later than we had talked about. I am pissed!!! We discussed my son missing one day of school and now he is going to miss two days and he isn't getting back until 8:55PM on Tuesday night. So Wednesday is going to be a hell of a day for my son which is going to make the rest of the week really bad too.

When I mentioned the extra day, the fact that I was just finding out about it now, and how late my son is getting in the ex got indignant with me!!!! I am so annoyed. He said that there is a weather advisory for Monday so he couldn't schedule the flight on Monday and that there is an issue for the weekend too so the only other choice was Tuesday. Then the ex says "what's the big deal with the child doesn't go to bed until 9:45PM anyway??? The big deal is the plane is supposed to land at 8:55 but there is no guarantee that it will and then I will have to get him home so I figure it will be 10pm by the time I get home and then he has to unwind to get up the next morning.

This all around just blows!!! I asked the ex to change the flight to an earlier one but I doubt he will since he is pissed at me since I didn't have a conversation with him about possibly piercing the child's ears.

All I want to do is cry right now. I don't want to my child to be elsewhere on a holiday, even if it is only on Thanksgiving, I don't want my child to fly across the country by himself, but most selfishly I don't want my child to enjoy himself and consider moving with his father. I just want to cry.