10 years ago today...

I was awoken at 2 AM with the beginnings of labor. By 6pm 10 years ago I was checked into the hospital waiting on the arrival of my little guy. Then at 7:03AM on 9/9/00 he was born.

Now I do not consider myself an overly emotional person but just thinking about the fact that my child is going to be 10 years old tomorrow has thrown me through a ridiculous loop!! I pulled out his baby photos, I posted one on the FB and everything! I have been thinking about tomorrow's FB post and everything I think about is incredibly cheesy but all true. I look at him and am just amazed at how fast he has grown and how much he is like me and my family. I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to raise this child and just pray I do not cause to high a therapist bill when he is an adult.

I have been stressing about how to celebrate his big day for months. He decided he didn't want a party b/c he wanted me to buy him a long board!! He knows how expensive the boards are and thought he had a better chance of getting it if I didn't throw the party. He got his way and there is no party and he got the board tonight which has him too excited its unreal. Tomorrow I will wake him up with a present and have one to match on my desk at work since he is going with me for my half day of work. Then I will take him to the skate park before home for dinner and ice cream cake. We then have cake/ice cream with my fam on Sat night and his dad's family on Sunday afternoon. Then next Friday a karaoke night with some of my friends. So for not having a party this child sure is getting to celebrate an awful lot!

Well off to make sure his gift is ready for tomorrow as my child grows into a man....(so not ready for what's coming next!!!)

I broke it off...

With the guy that I have been seeing since May, it didn't go so well. I was worried it wouldn't so it took me a while to get up the courage to break up with him. I feel bad b/c he's a good guy just so not the guy for me. He wants much more from a relationship than I do and he wants to move at warp speed which was just annoying. I know some women would swoon over this stuff but not me, I know I am odd and probably broken.
He accused me of breaking up with him b/c he is not good enough for me, I swear if he were standing in front of me I would have punched him for that stupid comment! I do not think I am too good for him I think I want a different kind of relationship. I felt very pressured and yes I probably should have told him all of this but at the point when I felt it I just shut down.
I have an on/off switch, I don't know what flicks it but its there and he flipped it and I was done. Sorry, there is no nice way to say that so I tried to be as nice and gentle as possible but he kept goading me into it. blah!!!
So there it is we are broken up and I am single once again. I think its better this way as the monster has decided to not want to stay the night with the ex laws which ends my time in the dating pool. Fun times...

To post of not to post...

I am frustrated with work and some situations that have arisen as of late. I have a nice blog detailing (as vague as possible) some of my greievence but I don't think its appropriate to post which is annoying but I do not want to hurt any future employment by complaining about current employment. Blah!

So instead I will post some funnies from my child:
He is staying with his father at his grandmothers house where his aunt, uncle, and 2 cousins live. The other day his cousins came home with posters for their room and the monster was upset b/c he didn't get one. I know spoiled kid but whatever. So that night we went to Walmart (which if you know me you know that is a feat in itself). I bought him a new skateboard toy and told him we had to pick out things for his cousins since he was getting something new. He asked why so I reminded him of the poster incident and asked what he thought of doing the same thing to them. He response was "its payback". Oy vey! kid. He said it with a strait face too. So I had to explain that we would not be doing that and he needed to get them something so they wouldn't feel bad.

Another one: The monster has gotten in the habit of saying things like I am your favority son/child when he is asking for things. "Please, I am your favorite child/son" well he and his dad were talking and somehow his father being his favorite father came up and the monster says "your my favority, for now" LMAO!!! too funny. I love that he qualified it, for now. He NEVER says that to me! Hee hee. I love my son!

Musings...

Over the weekend I was out with the child, my brother, and some friends. I was sending a text message but wouldn't tell my brother to who so my child responds "its her new boyfriend that she hasn't told me about yet." The funny thing is that it is a new gentlemen that I am talking to but he is not my boyfriend. So this has taught me that my child is annoyingly observant.

If you offer to help me and I tell you what I need but you push it back on me how is that helpful? I am just asking. I am so annoyed with work people.

What is wrong with people

Tonight in Baltimore a man was killed while riding his motorcycle. The motorcyclist was driving at "a high rate of speed" and swerved to avoid crashing into a dirt bike going slower. He swerved into a pole and died. This is sad and my heart goes out to his family. This is unfortunatly not uncommon but the dirt bike issue is. So the driver of the dirt bike was holding on to a 2 year old child which probably explains the driver going slower then the motorcycle. The dirt bike driver dropped the child off in an alley and fled the scene of the accident. Yes you read that right this ASSHOLE dropped a child off in the middle of the alley to flee an accident.
Oh but wait there's more... the child was reunited with his family and the family is not cooperating with police. So here is my question, why would the cops give a family back a child was allowed to go on a joy ride in someone's arms on a dirt bike??????? Since the family is not helping out I can only assume they are covering 1. their ass's for letting someone drive with a 2 year old on a dirt bike in their arms and 2. that person who was involved in the crash. What is wrong with people???? Child protective services needs to step in and take that child away from parents who are not protecting their child!!!

Insanity

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome.
I think I have finally gotten to the point with the ex that I am never going to believe another thing he says to me again. I am so tired of his shit and just thankful that I didn't tell my son about this latest act of stupidity.
So yesterday the Captain calls to tell me he is leaving his wife and that things have gotten really bad and that her ex husband has gotten her an apartment for her and her kids and that she is leaving him on 2/1. He asks for my help to get back to MD from GA. I asked him if he was sure this was what he wanted to do, he was adamant. Fine I will help, like a fucking fool!!!! The only smart thing I did yesterday is not tell my son that his dad may be coming up here to live.
Well I hadn't heard from him since late yesterday so I am curious if he actually got on the bus to come here, he said he did. Then all of a sudden his wife wants him back and he wants to work things out with her. Fine. Good. Great. He owes me $100!!!
I was kind of excited with the idea of having help, not having to ask people to watch the monster if I want to go out. I am tired of it and I don't want to take advantage of people so I don't ask very often. I thought with the captain back in this state he might help with his child. I was wrong his dick always wins out. Now I know I shouldn't be that crude about it but I am mad.
So this is it I am at the end of my rope, I do not want him to ask me for help anymore when he can't pay his rent for his wife and her kids (just to clarify, I never gave him rent money) or whatever else is his problem. I am so done its not funny!!!
I just feel bad for my son. Even if he doesn't know of the opportunity he just lost, I do and I feel for him. So I will no longer believe anything the ex tells me b/c believing him is the definition of insanity.

Why, just why....

Today I get a call from the ex, he is about to be evicted with his wife and her three kids and no one will help them, will I?
I know the answer should be a resonding hell no butthead but then I think of the kids and they are innocent in all of this and they don't deserve to be put out on the street. I hate that he did this to me! I feel like I have to try to help him but how, I don't have the money and if I give it to him I am taking away money I would like for my car which helps me drive my son around, for Christmas for my son, for food for my son, ect. I am so annoyed right now b/c I know I need to tell him no but I feel like absolute crap.
He says he has called his family and they have all either not answered or turned him down??? I am tempted to call them myself and ask them b/c if he is lying that will make my no a lot easier to say...
ARG!!! I hate divorce, its never flipping ending, this is ridiculous!