My poor car

I bought my first car 7 years ago next month. I love my car, I know its a silly PT with little under the engine but its mine. I have made every single payment on it. I have taken it to the shop when it needs a checkup/repairs. I cleaned it. Its all mine, its all me. Well its sick, sicker than I knew and I might have to part ways with my car.

I am not naive enough to think this day would never come, I mean good grief its got 126K miles on it. But its still happening faster than I was expecting. I am not prepared to say good bye. Which leads me to my dilemma do I pay $2000 + or do I trade it in and take a loss of less than $500? I have two options for trade, 1 is new PT and the 2nd is a used Patriot. I had been thinking that when the time came I would want a bigger vehicle and the Patriot fits the bill. But its a used car and the PT would be new. The price difference is nominal so that is not helping me make my decision either.

This is probably the main reason that I am still up and its midnight on a work night when I have been dragging every morning this week. Must figure out what I want to do. AAHHH!!!

Oh boy I think the girl thing may be starting...

I just found this on a piece of paper in the monsters handwriting:

"Dear__________ you have a cute ________________. If we were in the room together I would _________________. Me and you should ___________________. If you hugged me, I would _________________. You are _______________. I'd get your name tattooed on my___________________ "

I was freaking the hell out! When I gave it back to him his face went blank. I asked what it was and he said trash. So I opened it in front of him and that's when he told me it was his friends status and he wrote it down. So yes I logged into his FB to read his friends status. I am that parent. I almost feel like a monkey's ass for flipping out but still who wouldn't in my position?

Whew I feel like this was a close one... I AM NOT READY FOR GIRLS!!!!

Not enough of me to go around

Some days I feel like there is not enough of me to go around!!! I am so tired but feel obligated to go on with my plans for today which include Church where I have to print out a bunch of information for a meeting afterwards and get the Christmas Eve sign up sheets out. Then somehow get the kid to his dad's mom bc he wasn't there yesterday as usual. Then get the kid to the skatepark since he missed that yesterday. Then go to my aunts house for a party lite party which is 45 min away. Only to have to come back to get the kid and head home where I will have to get dinner ready and work on the laundry.

So the reason we missed things yesterday was bc the kid had a karate belt test and afterwards we didn't go to the town his dad's family lives in. Why didn't we bc for once I got to stay home on Sat and do things around the house. Which I haven't done in MONTHS it was heavenly!!! But now I have to make up for that today???? ARG. Now taking the kid to the skate park isn't a problem, it will actually help bc he won't have to go to the party lite party and be bored. However getting him to his dad's mom is the problem. I am frustrated when his father calls from across the f--ing country to make me feel bad that I didn't get the child to his family.

Please don't misunderstand I do love his dad's mom, she is an awesome person and great grandmother to my son and a great support for me however sometimes its just hard to get the child over there and his father is no help at all since 3 years ago he decided to leave the state to follow his newest lady friend. Well he married that lady friend and then she went crazy and they split, now rather than return to his childs state he went even further away. So why does he get to make me feel bad if I can't do it all? ARG! The only reason I feel so bad about it is that my son's grandmother is such an awesome person and loves my son unconditionally!

But I still wish I had some help so that I could get everything I need to done...

The monster strikes again...

Last Friday I went to the ex laws for a Mary Kay party in support of one of the monster's aunts. While there I said I would host a party and if I get just 3 people to come I get a free ring. Its very costumie but I like it. The hostess even said she would get me a purple one. So on my way home I was talking to my friend and telling him about the ring. I mentioned it looked like an engagement ring to which the peanut gallery pipes up to say "well that's the closest you are going to get to an engagement ring for a while" What the hell did I ever do to this kid? Sheesh!!!

Another one bites the dust...

So I met this guy online about 3 weeks ago and I thought we hit it off pretty well over the phone things were awesome but in person I guess not so much. We saw each other Sat night and I thought it was nice but when we spoke Sunday he said he felt "distance" and all this started bc I asked him to stop rubbing my leg. I didn't tell him to move his hand just stop with the rubbing. Evidently I am crazy bc I don't like to have someone running their hands on my legs/arms all the time. ARG. I thought we talked it out but wrong bc it blew up yesterday.

I thought we were done yesterday bc nothing I said mattered he seemed to have made up his mind that I was uncaring and didn't want to be with him. But towards the end of the night he said we should see where this could go, ok lets try that I thought. But today he just dropped off the face of the earth. AT LEAST HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL SOMEONE WHAT YOU ARE THINKING!!! I mean come on now have some common decency.

So I have decided I am done with dating. I have deleted all my profiles from dating sites and am not in the mood for any of this shit anymore. I guess its too much to ask to find a man that I like who likes me back. One who has a job, his own place, and a LIFE! I want to find a guy that is his own person and understands I am my own person. I know what I like and want in a relationship and am not going to settle for anything else. Why shouldn't I speak up about something I am not into? I do not want to become and "n" person again, you know JanenJohn they become one entity. So bc I don't think that person is around right now I am going to go on a dating hiatus. What is the point?